Thursday, July 7, 2011

My point of view : 34 weeks

Photo taken by Billy on our way to lunch the other afternoon.

Here I am about 34 weeks pregnant with Max...maybe more like 33.

And now here I am at 34 weeks with Sullivan.

Aside from the fact that I definitely look bigger with Sullivan, I've surprisingly had less weight gain. Billy swears I already look as pregnant as I did the day I delivered Max (why, thanks for the compliment honey :), but I can tell you I definitely don't feel nearly as uncomfortable or ready yet.

Its kind of interesting to compare the two experiences. There are a lot of similarities, but some definite differences too. I started showing at about the same time with both...around 17 weeks, but I'm expanding much more "out front" with Sullivan where as I was "wider" with Max. I almost wish I had done the belly cast with Max now, just to see the difference since pictures can be deceiving.

With Max I felt great, but I was categorized as "high risk" due to blood test results fairly early in my pregnancy. It caused a lot of worry in the beginning even though I knew deep down that everything was going to be fine. I read all the books, took my blood pressure every day and spent my free time strategically buying up every item that I could possibly need for a newborn baby. I wasn't one of those crazy paranoid pregnant women, but I definitely was much more "focused" last time.

With this little butterbean I feel just as great, with only one exception...lack of energy. To be more specific...I actually HAVE energy, but I also have a very skilled mini energy-zapper that happens to live in my house. I don't have the luxury of laying around, taking long baths and reading "Pregnancy & Newborn" with my feet up every evening. This time I'm chasing my sweet little mister around the house and hoping I remember to take my prenatal vitamin at some point during the day. All while the stack of unread pregnancy magazines is growing on the nightstand.

One of the greatest advantages of experiencing this a second time around, though, is that I'm 100% confident in what my body is capable of. Even with the scary news last time that I might develop pre-eclampsia, my body took it day by day. Slowly putting together the most perfect little baby and taking care of both of us. Keeping him safe and healthy and growing.

Its so wild how little control we actually have over the whole process.

Counterintuitive to what people might think, everything about this pregnancy feels more relaxed and less rushed. I have so much more on my plate, but I'm not worried how I'm going to get it all done this time. Maybe I've given up on trying to be in control or maybe I'm in denial. Either way I'm blissfully floating through this experience like I don't have a care in the world.

I'm very aware that my life is going to turn upside down again once the baby is born. But I'll get it figured out. I felt like my world was spinning out of control when I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test many weeks ago and now look at me? I would have never guessed how peaceful I would feel in just a short amount of time.

At any rate I know the real challenge still lies ahead.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying the calm that comes with the familiar experience of growing a baby and the confidence I have in myself. It may not last forever, but it sure feels good right now.

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