For Max

Dear Max,
The other day I was organizing the endless amount of videos and pictures we have of you on our computer. How is it possible to have so many after just 14 months? I couldn't believe how tiny you look at 2 weeks old when Dada fed you your first bottle. Or at 3 months old playing the little keyboard piano with your feet.

I didn't realize how truly little you were at the time and how much different you would be only a year later. It's amazing. And what is even crazier is no matter what a big boy I see you as now, one day I'll look back on the pictures of you from today and think "How was Max ever that small?!" It makes me want to hold you and kiss you and not let go in an effort to slow time down. You won't allow me to do that though. You're too busy ;)

I've always been hyper-aware of the passing of time and how short lived things in life are - I'm not sure why. Sometimes it weighs heavy on my heart.

I'm very conscious of the fact that each day that passes brings us one day closer to your first day of Kindergarten. One step closer to watching you drive away in your first car. And one step closer to the day you tell us you're in love and getting married.

The thought of all of these milestones coming and going makes me feel the happiest sad a person can feel. So for now I'm just going to focus on the little diaper wedgie you were walking around with earlier today (you were very busy organizing your plates and spoons on the kitchen floor) and committing to memory the sound of you asking for bananas (which you call ba-lalala) over and over again even though I had none left. 

I promise you that I have cherished every moment of being your momma. I haven't taken a single day for granted and never will.

My whole heart,

Momma

Here are a few videos from the archives that I came across...

2 weeks old: trying a bottle


3 months: playing the piano


5 months: real food for the first time and we can't get it in his mouth fast enough :)


10 months: crawling


11 months: learning to walk