I have watched your 3D sonogram a hundred times, I've rearranged the clothes in your closet and remade your crib. I moved the bassinet beside our bed a few inches to the right to make sure its in the exact perfect spot. Sat in our bed and stared at it. And then moved it back again. Your momma is going crazy with anticipation! When will you get here?! I've been holding my breath with every little pain I feel wondering if its going to lead to your entrance into the world.
I've enjoyed growing you and love having you close to me all the time, but my arms are starting to feel empty without you in them. It's a funny feeling to long for someone you haven't even met yet.
Your big brother has started calling you "Van". I guess out of the three syllables in your name that's the easiest one for him to grasp. He's ready for you too. He likes to knock on the door to your room and go in and look around.
I don't know how I'll handle the sight of both of you at the same time. The thought of it is just too much and I can't think of a word to describe the joy I'm going to feel holding you both in my arms. I have literally cried at the thought of introducing the two of you for the first time.
I've been making myself (and your Dad) ridiculous lists of things to do before you get here. Things like: 1) organize the craft table in the basement. 2) condition the leather couch 3) rearrange the garage. And then I convince myself you haven't arrived yet only because we haven't done these things. But everything gets crossed off the list and I go back to rearranging your closet.
I know you'll come in your own time, but we're ready when you are my sweet boy.
My whole heart,