We've made it.

I can't believe it. We're home. Last year about this time I wanted out of our old house so badly. I was done with it and the busy street and the pool and the ridiculous driveway situation. We put it on the market and it just became a "house" in my mind.

As the months dragged on (and my hormones returned to normal levels) I became sentimental about the beautiful old house and I realized I had been a little irrational about the whole thing. I mean...Max wasn't even 6 months old at the time...he wasn't going to toddle out to the pool by himself or run out into the middle of 55th St just yet. I gained a little perspective, but still realized this was not the best home to raise our family in.

Then I wrote this post. I didn't know it at the time, but everything was about to fall into place the way it was meant to happen in just a few short weeks into the future. And now after a whirlwind of packing and paperwork we're in our new place that fits all of our criteria and we finally feel settled.

It has our needs (quiet street, 2 car garage, easy access from my car into the house) and also the things that make a house a real home for Billy and me (old neighborhood, walking distance to shops/restaurants, tree lined street). We also have many plans for this house and the additions we're going to make in the coming years. We see so much potential here.

We're really excited about this new chapter in our lives. And as a bonus we get to add another little baby to it! We couldn't be happier with the way things played out. The wait was worth it and made us realize what is most important to us. I'm always amazed how the phrase "everything happens for a reason" consistently proves itself in my life even though I hate to hear it in the midst of a challenge.

So now, with the craziness of the move behind us, all that's on the "to do" list is to make room in our hearts and our new home for little Sullivan. And I'm happy to just sit in my nest and await his arrival.

Here are a few pics of what we've been up to in the new house:

Max loves: the backyard (with no pool!!).

Washing hands and feet after playing outside.

Max loves: his new playroom

Read me books, Momma! All day. All day. All day.

"Vacuuming"

Max loves: riding his fire truck in the living room

He climbs on and says "Go. Go. Go."

Max loves: to watch out the front door.

The construction on our street has been a real treat for Max.

Max (still) loves: to eat. Now in his new highchair in his new kitchen!

"The Land of And"

Do you know those commercials? I cannot stand them. I think its for some horrible restaurant like "Old Country Buffet"...I'm not even sure. But like anything incredibly annoying it got stuck in my head the other day. Through some weird stream of consciousness I started thinking about the word and and its importance in my life. Such a tiny and simple word that connects some of the biggest pieces of my life together.

For so long, it was just me. I was just Sara. One person. And then Billy came along and I acquired my first and. Sara and Billy. The addition of that and gave me someone else to consider and put before my own needs.

With Max, my and moved forward again. Sara, Billy and Max. After that, my time, my energy and my focus all changed directions as our little stinkbomb rearranged everything we knew about responsibility and love.

Last weekend, as I was laying on the couch thinking these weird thoughts while watching my "big" and and my "little" and play together, the littlest and of all gave me a solid kick in the ribs, reminding me that the position of our and is about to move forward again.

Sara, Billy, Max and Sullivan.

I wonder how many times our and will shift positions to accommodate new important beings in our lives. Wherever my and ends up I feel very lucky for its existence in my life.

This week.

I'm utterly exhausted. This past week has taken it all out of me. Moving, unpacking, trying to get our now "rental property" spotlessly clean and celebrating my 30th birthday. Oh, and I managed to make it to my dental appointment somewhere in the middle of all of that too.

Little Max has been a trooper. The poor guy has had some interesting meals this week since we still haven't gone to the grocery store to stock the fridge. Random canned goods have come in handy. The first night we were in the house I couldn't even find the can opener though so luckily I found a single-serve can of Speghetti-O's in the kitchen cabinet. Did I buy that at some point? I don't remember packing or unpacking it. Did the previous owner leave it behind? I'm not sure. That and a slice of stale wheat bread spread with some peanut butter was his dinner. Then I gave him his bath but could only find our little travel kit that has old hotel shampoo in it. Good to know that my baby will not spontaneously combust if he doesn't have a balanced meal and a bath with his organic shampoo :)

Even with all of this craziness I feel really content. It finally seems like we're on the other side of the hill we've been climbing trying to get all of this to fall into place. I'll write more about the new house soon, but for now I'll just include some recent pictures of what we've been up to this past week when we haven't been up to our necks in boxes.

Mother's Day Weekend

Saturday we walked up to Glace' with Grandma Murray for ice cream.

And this is what I woke up to on Sunday morning :)

Chocolate chip and fresh blueberry pancakes and pink tulips.

Then we went to the zoo for the afternoon with the whole family.



Max was so excited to see the animals. Especially the polar bear.


When we got home from the zoo Max was more than ready for his afternoon nap. So Sullivan and I went for a dip in the pool while he slept.


Then later in the day we went up to the garden to water our seeds.


Monday evening we went to Quigley's for dinner to see our dear friend Dave on his last night. We had just closed on the house earlier in the day so we were also celebrating our new home!

The boys.


Coloring on the floor.


Eating corn doggies from a sharks mouth is way more fun than eating off the table like a civilized person.

Saturday was my 30th bday party at the Blue Grotto. It was exactly what I wanted...I little gathering with the people I love.



Here's Max this Sunday morning getting a closer look at the collage of pictures my mom put together for the party.


From these images you can't tell how disorganized are lives are right now can you?

Becoming a mother again

You know what the best thing about being a momma is? You get to always be one. It's not a phase in life like being a teenager or being in your twenties that quickly passes you by...it's permanent.

I can't stop thinking about how excited I am to become a mom again. To have the chance to bring another life into the world is an honor that I will never stop being thankful for. Max's birth was the single most defining experience of my life so far. It was the most physical. The most emotional. The most painful. And the most rewarding. I imagine most women would describe it this way regardless of how their little one came into the world (drugs, no drugs, c-section, etc). I know every birthing experience takes enormous amounts of courage. And every mom should be proud of that.

It sounds odd, but I'm looking forward to being in labor again. Don't get me wrong...its the most ridiculous pain I've ever felt, but it's not a "bad" pain (if that makes any since at all??).

I'm excited for all the aspects of becoming a momma times two. Some people are quick to point out that two kids means two times the dirty diapers, twice the expense and half the sleep. There's that. And two times the little smiles, twice the tiny, dimpled booty cheeks (my favorite part of all babies!) and exponentially more love.

I can honestly say our inital reaction of feeling surprised and unprepared for this pregnancy now seems like a very distant memory. I find myself thinking "I can't believe this wasn't our idea!" on a regular basis because it feels so right for our family.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Momma's out there! I hope you're getting all the love and pampering you deserve :)

The Garden

One of the best parts about the fact that we'll still own the house on 55th ST is that we get to keep our plot at the community garden. Our renter wants nothing to do with it. If he's hiring people to take care of the pool and lawn there's no way gardening will be on his agenda. :)

We learned a lot last year and hope to have an even better garden this time around. It served its purpose by providing us with endless fresh arugula, spinach, chives and green onion but it just looked so disorganzied and sad. I'm determined not to have the most pathetic looking garden box this year.

Plus we're excited to teach Max about planting and growing. I have a feeling we'll be spending many summer days with this barefoot baby at the garden. He'll be a good water boy.

He's a natural already as seen below directing Dada with the shovel. Foreman Max.



For whatever reason our green onions came back in full force. They were gigantic. We pulled them out because there's something just not normal about green onions the size of a one year old.


We were teaching Max about planting and demonstrated how to do it by planting his feet in the dirt.


He caught on quickly and kept picking buds off the chives and then burying them in the dirt.

The sign of a successful afternoon in the garden...

Easter

Easter really snuck up on me this year despite it being much later in the season than usual. We were really looking forward to the fact that Max could actually hunt for eggs and participate in the festivities this time around. Last year he had no clue what was going on as we colored boiled eggs, visited the bunny and shuffled him around to hunt for plastic eggs.

This year he was very aware of the strangeness of Easter traditions. Which made us realize we have no idea why we have the traditions that we have. I'm going to need to read up before he can ask me real questions. For now, I can only imagine what he's thinking...

"Ok, so what does this bunny have to do with Easter and why is he wearing glasses? This is creepy."

My mom and I took Max to visit the E-Bunny at Crown Center along with cousin Annabelle. He was a little apprehensive about sitting with the bunny by himself so Annabelle and I stepped in for moral support.


"Another question, Mom...what's with these eggs? I'm really going to need you to explain this holiday to me again."

This year we decided to decopage ceramic eggs rather than deal with the dye. Max's quick little hands would've had the cups of colored vinegar all over the floor in no time regardless of how closely he was monitored.


The glue brush went in his mouth more than once. I tried to wipe the glue off his tongue before he could swallow it. Lots of kids have eaten glue, right? And the label says non-toxic. I'll just continue with my momma-mantra that I repeat to myself multiple times a day..."He'll be fine."
(BTW, how many of you are wondering if I ever put pants on my baby?? :)
Easter morning:


"I guess that bunny guy isn't so bad afterall."

"He left my favorite treats inside these eggs! Puffs, goldfish and Nilla Wafers!!"


Easter morning we took Max to church. We had decided ahead of time that we'd leave him at the little preschool for the first time since Easter service is always so incredibly packed. We arrived extra early to make sure he could get settled in only to find out that the preschool was closed that day! Oh well. We love having him with us during Mass even with all the fidgiting. Just looking at him when the choir is singing and during the readings makes it all come together for me. As corny as it may sound he is my personal proof that God exists. Max and all the other little babies sitting in the pews around us has given me a more tangible aspect to faith. Max was especially well behaved during the service and we were so excited that the priest who married us, Father Rotert, was presiding even though he retired over five years ago. He is the kindest man and played a huge part in me deciding to become Catholic. It was so comforting to see him again.

Here's Max chillin' in the pew...

Next we had a marathon of Easter celebrations. So fun and tiring at the same time. Max wasn't the most pleasant kid to be around...especially since he was coming down with a cold. Truthfully, his mood went steadily downhill as the day went on...but I did manage to get one last cute photo before he lost his mind :)

For Max

Dear Max,
The other day I was organizing the endless amount of videos and pictures we have of you on our computer. How is it possible to have so many after just 14 months? I couldn't believe how tiny you look at 2 weeks old when Dada fed you your first bottle. Or at 3 months old playing the little keyboard piano with your feet.

I didn't realize how truly little you were at the time and how much different you would be only a year later. It's amazing. And what is even crazier is no matter what a big boy I see you as now, one day I'll look back on the pictures of you from today and think "How was Max ever that small?!" It makes me want to hold you and kiss you and not let go in an effort to slow time down. You won't allow me to do that though. You're too busy ;)

I've always been hyper-aware of the passing of time and how short lived things in life are - I'm not sure why. Sometimes it weighs heavy on my heart.

I'm very conscious of the fact that each day that passes brings us one day closer to your first day of Kindergarten. One step closer to watching you drive away in your first car. And one step closer to the day you tell us you're in love and getting married.

The thought of all of these milestones coming and going makes me feel the happiest sad a person can feel. So for now I'm just going to focus on the little diaper wedgie you were walking around with earlier today (you were very busy organizing your plates and spoons on the kitchen floor) and committing to memory the sound of you asking for bananas (which you call ba-lalala) over and over again even though I had none left. 

I promise you that I have cherished every moment of being your momma. I haven't taken a single day for granted and never will.

My whole heart,

Momma

Here are a few videos from the archives that I came across...

2 weeks old: trying a bottle


3 months: playing the piano


5 months: real food for the first time and we can't get it in his mouth fast enough :)


10 months: crawling


11 months: learning to walk

Today was a good day.

Sorry I've been slacking on the blog lately. We're in the process of moving finally. We're closing in 3.5 weeks and I don't know how all of these boxes around me are going to get filled. Especially since they've become Max's favorite toys. He flips them on their side and crawls in. Then sets them up and throws toys inside. Then drags and pushes them across the room. Its pretty cute but not helping me get anything done.

Anyway, today we set our "to do" list aside to enjoy the gorgeous day. I figure everything will get done one way or another...right? Please lie to me.

Either way we had a great day and here are a few things that I loved about it:

1. We had a nice little walk across the street and ate lunch with Lolli and GG at Cafe Europa.

2. Max ate dirt and I didn't stop him. I literally watched him lick his hand after sticking his paws in an old flower pot.

3. Spinning. Max discovered what its like to feel dizzy and he loves it. He would spin around and around and around on the front porch and then stagger over to me giggling. Drunk baby.

4. Waiting outside for Dada to get home from work. Max likes to sit in the front yard while we wait and wave to the people walking their dogs or babies. Or wave at the St. Teresa's cross country team or anyone who drives by with their window down. We sit and wait and pick grass. And then when Dad finally pulls in the driveway its like the reunion of a lifetime. They run toward each other like its been ages. I feel so lucky to witness this joyful occasion.

And my sweet husband didn't even ask me what I got done today or why our house looks like I was unpacking rather than packing or why our baby didn't have any pants on.

March Madness

Two weekends ago my parents watched Max overnight - he LOVES staying with them. They always do something fun like take him to the pet store or out for ice cream. This time they went to the toy store and bought Max a little basketball goal since he is a little obsessed with the game ("Ba-Ball" he calls it). March Madness had a whole new meaning in our house this year. Seeing basketball on the television stops Max in his tracks. This child loves sports already.

Here's a little video of him playing in my mom's art studio. She said he'd watch the players on TV for a few seconds and then run over and make a basket. You'll see he's pretty proud of his athletic ability :)